Monday, July 23, 2012

Coping With Other People's Expectations

Why is it that other people always seem to either think you can do more than you actually can, or they think you can't do as much as you actually can?  Why don't they just see you as you really are? 

Do the ones who won't accept your limitations just not want to deal with the fact that you need more help than they are able to give?

Do the ones who add to your limitations with what they think should be your limitations do this out of guilt or out of needing to feel needed?

I don't have the answers.  What I do know is that I would just like it if people would accept me as I am, help me when I need help, and let me do the things I can do without trying to take that away from me.  But I also see that it can be a fine line here.  Those who feel I can do more than I can may think they are being encouraging and helping to push me to improve but not seeing that they may be pushing too hard.  Some may also just not see the limitations at all because they want to think of me as being the strong woman I always used to be.  Then those who take pity on me and want to help with everything whether I need the help or not, or worse, want to help with things I don't need help for but not help with things that I do need help with can hurt me too.  It makes trying to deal with my issues even more difficult when I have to also deal with how they respond to me.  No matter which way they see me, how they respond to me can be a real setback to helping me improve.

I wish it were easier to make people understand.  But all I can do is work on myself and just hope that they come to know what I can and can't do, for now.  Maybe down the road I will improve more.  Maybe I won't.  But for today, I am what I am.  I just want them to know that and accept me as I am.